Today I phoned uncle’s house to see how he uncle is doing after his surgery, and I got a reply:
don’t bother please.
I noticed the word "please" in the sentence 🙂
Now this could sound strange, but I saw my mom doing the same when father had his liver cancer: just showing people the door. Myself I sometimes was listening to visitors just to "suddenly come back into reality" not having a clue what this visitor was saying.
What all this visitors had in common was:
- they had never seen a cancer patient up close in their family (father was the first they know about)
- they come and visit as if you visit a person with the flu
Now there is nothing wrong with the latter, unless mom:
- still has to cook food for herself,
- still has to cook food for father,
- didn’t sleep well for the last 48 hours
- knows that she is fighting a loosing battle every day
So today I am kind of a "disaster tourist" trying to find out how uncle is. I know she is fighting a loosing battle as well and I know if I try again tomorrow, maybe she will talk to me as if nothing happened.