Feeling guilty : This is something I hear from my mom and from my aunt. But really: what can you do more?
Mom feels guilty that the last 2 nights she was not sleeping next to fathers bed, when I took over. I just saw mom was completely at her end, at the same time father was at his end as well. That we saw the next day when his eyes were not open anymore…
Aunty who has been taking care for years of her husband was in the kitchen. Husband stepped out of his chair, wanted to sit down again but missed it, so he broke some bones included his hips. When you read this, you cannot imagine the pain he must be in, and even with morphine, that reduces your quality of life a lot.
Uncle who has kidney cancer is now in excruciating pain after the hip operation. And of course aunty feels guilty because: IF she would have been next to uncle, THEN uncle would have not fallen….
Fortunately we hear mother and aunty saying that, so at least we can say: you did all you can, so don’t feel guilty. But I am sure there are a lot of unheard voices and unheard moments of palliative care takers that are carrying the burdens
- of the palliative care
- of the guilt
Cancer is much more than just a tumor that yes or no can be removed… It changes your life and the life of your loved ones, and I do mean loved ones. So called friends don’t have a clue what cancer is all about. And where is God when you need him? Cancer changes your view on religion as well…