Metastatic liver cancer

A follow up to our previous post "Trading a house for life-time help", my niece and her hubby are arriving to day to live with mom and trying to find out if this will work.

As we all know, lot’s of people don’t like to live with their mother in law, now mom is not their mom in law, but still: newlyweds love to have their own territory.

On the other hand, my own lovely daughter loved to stay in the house of her grandparents. But then, as I said she is a real lovely daughter (self praise big disgrace…)

For those who don’t know how to deal with a person that has cancer, read the life-experience of a terminal cancer patient below to get some inspiration. You can also read this complete liver cancer site day by day from the beginning until father died of metastatic liver cancer. But if your loved one has cancer, you shouldn’t read too much, rather use all your energy in reading 1 good post like this one That’s what I did, and it kept me going in the really difficult times or just say moments I encountered when I was 1 of the palliative care takers of father.

(source http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.cancer), with special thanks to a very helpful J in that group!

Cancer treatment Support Question:

Would some one give me some tips how to handle people who have a cancer?

Cancer treatment Support Answer:

I’m terminal and these a few but not all from my own experience.

No books. I can’t tell you how many well-meaning friends gave me them. Yes, there may be a few that can be helpful, but most are the same old rehash of so and so who "conquered cancer." I have a big collection of UNread ones. Want any?

If you want to buy them a gift, how ’bout some movie CDs or tickets to the theatre? We are just like everybody else except we have cancer. We still enjoy what you do.

Please don’t bring up the story of Aunt Sally or the cousin of your friend’s second wife who had a worse cancer condition and is now "cured."  That diverts attention away from the real need at hand.

Just be there for them who have cancer. Hold their hand. Never say "I know how hard it must be"  because you don’t.

If their cancer condition is such that they are incapacitated, offer to do something they can’t do, like mow the lawn. Clear snow from their sidewalk when they’re not looking. Bring over some homemade soup or cookies (but don’t tell them you heard that it can cure cancer).

Babysit. Phone the person having cancer regularly and just say you’re checking in (try not to say "how are you feeling?" They’ll tell you that on their own if  they want you to know). End the phone call or visit by saying "What happens to you makes a difference to me."

Prayer is OK (but be gentle when offering it) or ask if it’s OK for you to pray for them during your own prayer times.

If they are Christian, offer to read Scripture to them. Ask how they’re doing "in their Spirit."

…

Technorati Tags: Cancer | Secondary liver cancer | Cancer treatment | Cancer story | Beating cancer with nutrition | Quality of life

When father was in his last weeks of his metastatic liver cancer, he needed to be in bed a long time. To give his back the best support ever, we managed to get him a sophisticated waterbed mattress which was covered by his health insurance (good thinking father!).

You could see the difference when father took a long nap in the sofa or when he slept in his waterbed: his back just couldn’t stand our sofa anymore.

Now don’t think about the first waterbeds where you felt as if you were sleeping in the ocean on the surf waving from left to right. The high end waterbeds are completely waveless and very comfortable indeed.