Our deepest condolences

Dear Carol,

Our deepest condolences.

We do share your anger and we will only put closure on our father’s passing away once doctors know there are metastatic liver cancer survivors.

Just imagine: your doctor was the pharaoh’s doctor: if the pharaoh dies, the doctor would be killed and buried next to him… How much effort do you think this kind of doctor would put into finding a cure?

For sure he wouldn’t dare to act like your dad’s oncologist:

I went through the trouble of downloading all of the information for my dad’s oncologist but he was not receptive to reading it as he claimed he was too busy.

To cure a person with secondary liver cancer, we repeat: you have to do everything right. Obviously you are a far cry away from "everything" when you don’t even know what the primary cancer was (in my father’s case they couldn’t find it, at least they tried all that was available in their hospital).

But the biggest problem all patients suffer from is the "doctors that are too busy" excuse.

If your doctor is serious, then he acts like father’s GP:

Father’s GP is a very busy doctor, but he said: visit my office from 20.00h onwards and I will be able to ‘squeeze you in’. Once we were ‘squeezed in’, he listened to us, heard about our concerns and called a specialist knowing that if we were to call the specialist, we would be on a waiting list for a few months as… doctors are busy… And our GP never charged anything for these kind of appointments. "Call me when you need me", that was his attitude, compare that with "I am too busy"…

If your doctor is not serious, then he acts like father’s health insurance social worker:

“Your father’s wife is still in good health so no need for me to come and help.” Utterly ridiculous answer when you read a letter from the health insurance stating: “the health insurance social worker is the person to organize all the health care you need.” Well, this so called social worker just sat on his ass, justifying that " in the emancipatory approach" your mother can organize her own help.

Just imagine when the team surrounding your father’s treatment is like our father’s GP in a country like Australia where Jim’s son is taken seriously.

You mentioned in order for your father to have treatment :

"He would have to improve in health first"…

Ok, medical world we do understand that chemotherapy is not for the weak, but why does the treatment stop with that sentence? Why isn’t there a plan put in action to make sure your father improves in health as fast as possible?

Bottom line is: most doctors use the "too busy excuse" because this is a difficult disease to cure and the hospital they are working in needs doctors to work like idiots so the hospital can survive. Do notice: "the hospital can survive" and not "your father can survive".

We cannot bring your father back, nor can we bring our father back. But you need to curve your anger into positive energy to make sure your father’s passing away will bring this world one step closer to curing metastatic liver cancer.

What I do is looking for metastatic cancer survivors so anybody on this site can show his doctor that there are survivors. Not many, but more than none, as none is most likely your doctor’s experience.

Doctors need to be open that there is a solution, and that the solution requires "a team" and "everything" to be done right in stead of looking for the one miracle cure that doesn’t come, although billions are being spend looking for it.

I can only invite you Carol if and when you can (as I am fully aware that your energy level now is low and you do need energy for yourself and your family to carry on). So if and when you can, do something you can do in order to help doctors and loved ones to do everything right.

Do know that grief takes 1 to 2 years (and for some, the tears will never end flowing), and so far the anger still boils up with me…

But wouldn’t it be great that one day somebody has the spirit and the energy to find and get surrounded by a team like the one that’s surrounding Jim’s son?