Lord of Pain

Lord of pain…, Lord of cancer… My believe in the Lord has been scattered a lot since father is suffering from secondary liver cancer.

Personally I find the Lord a big coward for not wanting to show us where the primary cancer is. Why are we not at least given a fair chance to beat the cancer?

Disney World Vacation

Today we took father on a vacation: not to Disney World, but we visited:

• the jewelry shop to tighten father’s wrist watch (the cancer is eating father up inside out). It was great to see how father recognized and started conversation with 2 other elderly people in the shop. Short conversation, but what more do we need than hello how are you, long time no see, oh, you also forget things?
• another elderly friend and
• yet another elderly friend of father.

Father was exhausted after his visits, yet it seemed like a day well spend. Not like the endless running around in the house, not knowing what to do (father was much more an outdoor person).

Cancer | Disney | Lord?

So what is the connection between our Lord, Disney and cancer? Well, I just read Colin Sullivan’s post about his Crip Trip Disney World vacation: how he thanks the Lord gave him the strength to go to Disney in the first place.

Colin lives with chronic pain after 3 back-surgeries and writes about his life in Chronic Pain Lifestyle.

Similar in Colin’s life and father’s life there are 2 options:

• sit back and do nothing
• take a chance, enjoy a few seconds and face the pain or exhaustion later (no pain – no gain, sadly but true…)

It sounds like choosing between a rotten fish and a rotten egg to me, but it showed on father’s face that what I think is wrong. Similar how Colin doubted himself: should I go or should I stay… and after he went: Hmmm, I will do it again.

Young and the restless

Restless: in father’s case: running around without a purpose in the house must make him freaking mad ("restless" they call it in decent medical terms, Risperdal they call the solution).

Yet the fresh air in a cold yet sunny ‘spring-day’ today and visiting 3 different places has much more benefits and not a single restless symptom.

As said before:

a cancer patient likes the things he did before he got the cancer.