I hate to have to admit this, but it literally started with nothing. I had no pain. I had no problems. At 47 years old, I had no health problems or symptoms. I have Congenital Cataracts, inherited from my mother’s side of the family – no big deal or major problem. All females have congenital cataracts on our eyes. My son was born with them – first male in the family to have them. He was nearly blind in his right eye and had to have the cataract removed when he was 5 years old and wore a contact lenses until he turned 18 then had a lens implant. Then one day I noticed that I had a problem with my vision while night driving.
The glare from the street lights and vehicle lights was pretty bad and very annoying and made it a bit hard to drive as it was so bright and distracting, I just figured it was due to the cataracts getting worse and I’d have to have an implant like my son (His vision is now 30/20). I went to the same ophthalmologist that preformed the cataract removal for my son. He deals with the front of the eye, and he checked my eyes and told me there is no problem. The cataracts have not progressed at all in the 18 years I have been seeing this ophthalmologist for routine check-ups. He said they were not so bad that they should be causing the problem I am complaining about. He sent me to another doctor that deals with the area behind the eye and he too, said there is no problem with the rear area of my eye. So my ophthalmologist said we’ll try the lens implant and hope it takes care of the problem. One lens implant later and absolutely no change at all. Got glasses and still no change. Still had that annoying glare while driving at night, seemingly getting worse.
at that time, the doctor said that since I was complaining about a problem most would not complain about, he said he wanted me to get an MRI to see what was going on in the back of my head, in the orbits area. Well, taking an MRI is a bit scary as you are strapped to a table and rolled into a narrow tunnel and literally in a tube with your head strapped in place so it can’t move! When the doctor got the results back, he called me immediately and said that there was a very large tumor mass in the rear orbits area of my eye, very near to my brain! This was not his area of expertise, so he told me he was working to get me in to a Neurosurgeon that specialized in this area as soon as possible.
I was totally shocked. A tumor? A cancerous tumor? Am I going to die? He didn’t say. Just a tumor mass, which tells me nothing. I started to wonder. I have never smoked, never done drugs, never any alcohol, don’t drink coffee – don’t do any of the things that are commonly attached to cancer! Yes, I was a quiet, goody-two-shoes girl! Never smoked, drank or kissed boys that do! So where in the world did a tumor come from? Was I going to die? And so close to my brain! Talk about a double whammy! Cancer on the brain was all that went through my mind. I was working so hard to tell myself, “Don’t panic. You don’t know the details, you don’t know it is cancerous. You know nothing more than it is there. Don’t panic”. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave my kids.
The next day, New Year’s Eve day 2003, the Neurosurgeon’s office called me and said to come in right away and the doctor will see me as soon as I walk in the door. Okay, so now I am even more scared. When was the last time you went to the doctor and got in at your scheduled appointment time, muchless the minute you walked into the office?! It had to be bad!
You know what, though? One good thing happened in this. I knew I needed someone to go with me. I needed support. I needed strength and in a big way not to mention driving clear into Los Angeles in my condition – I couldn’t do it. I knew I was going to fall apart and wouldn’t understand what the doctor was going to tell me. I needed someone.
When I asked my husband to take me, he didn’t want to take me, but without even being asked, my son, then 21, jumped up and said he’d take me. For a few seconds, I forgot about the tumor and realized and relished the knowing that my son loves me and is “there” for me. You always think and assume that about your kids, but when it actually exhibits itself, without any push or shove, and is just showered on you, it really hits home and at least you have that feeling and knowledge to hold on to while you go through the hard times. Granted, I wish God had chosen a different way to show me that, but then again, maybe it wouldn’t have had the impact on me that it did, at a time when I really needed to know it.
My son drove me into Los Angeles and we saw the doctor. I didn’t even have to wait to complete all that paper work! I was about 1/3 the way through it all and they called me in.   To be continued.