My dad is dead due to metastatic liver cancer. That’s what happened to Patrick’s dad, my dad and a lot of other dads from our secondary liver cancer site.
Most people find our site looking for new cancer treatments or liver cancer treatment options. Unfortunately we don’t have a cure for cancer and we only have 2 metastatic liver cancer survivors.
You try to organize the best palliative care ever and as much as the cancer sucks the life out of your loved one, it also starts draining you emotionally and physically.
Depression symptoms
Then your loved one dies of metastatic liver cancer and… there you are on your own and you get into a period of grief and bereavement.
2 years after my dad died, I am still in that period of grief and bereavement. Yes I have depression symptoms and friends already told me to undergo depression treatment.
But we all know I am not depressed, I am sad and angry. As long as I can keep myself occupied, all looks fine. But as soon as I have a calm moment to contemplate, tears come in my eyes.
When I was young, I saw my beloved old neighbour dying with lung cancer. Still the word cancer didn’t leave a mark on me and live went on until father was diagnosed with metastatic liver cancer.
Cancer is our worst enemy
Cancer only got through to me when I became a care-giver helping in father’s palliative care.
Then and only then, when I experienced living with a cancer patient 24 hours a day 7 days a week: I understood that cancer is something you wish your worst enemy would have to undergo. But surely not your loved ones.
I also started to wonder why so much money is spend to shoot your so called worst enemies in a far away land, when next to you people are dying because there are no sure cancer treatment options.
And why don’t we know what is causing cancer in the first place? You mean we are afraid that 9/11 would happen again but we don’t even think that the chances to get hit with cancer far outweigh the chances from 9/11 to happen in the first place.
- Now you say: 9/11 happened!
- Then I say: how many new cancers spread each and every day, at the moment you are reading this?
Every day in the news I see people shooting their enemies, but in the same news there is nothing about cancer treatment information. Not today, nor yesterday, nor tomorrow. Why is that?
Grief and bereavement tips
There are people specialised in grief and bereavement. Your GP will give you an anti-depression medicine but for sure you don’t need depression help.
If you look for professional help, then look in your neighbourhood for bereavement grieving groups, bereavement counseling or anybody that has experience with overcoming grief.
The few things that replace the holocaust image father reminded me of in his last stage of metastatic liver cancer are:
- dad died with a smile on his face
- dad died very soon after he had seen all his loved together on the same day
- the last day of his life, dad managed to say goodbye to mom insuring her if he had to do it all over again, he would choose her again.
You need to find out for yourself which images you also want to think about each time the negative metastatic liver cancer images start running through your mind.
If you can’t find any positive image because you were not physically there when your loved one was living his last weeks of cancer, then know that being dead, your loved one won’t have to suffer any pain, nor from the cancer, nor from the side-effects of chemotherapy.
Patrick’s dad is dead
I wrote the above as I wanted to share with Patrick how I feel after my dad died from metastatic liver cancer.
Patrick just dropped by and shared his feelings of grief and bereavement at:
- One caregiver is never enough! Patrick’s father has metastatic liver cancer
- Stage iv colon cancer
- Lesly is losing the love of her life to metastatic liver cancer
We thank Patrick for sharing, especially when Lesly is walking the road Patrick has been walking a bit faster.