When you are at the crossroads, having to choose between:
- fighting cancer no matter what or
- accepting that life will end sooner than later,
the question to ask the patient is:
“If time becomes short, what is most important to you?”
Jack Block, a professor emeritus of psychology, when found a mass growing in the spinal cord of his neck, answered the above question with:
Well, if I’m able to eat chocolate ice cream and watch football on TV, then I’m willing to stay alive. I’m willing to go through a lot of pain if I have a shot at that.’
Quality of life can only be defined by every individual patient. Wouldn’t you be happy when you know what your loved one wants in order to be happy, considering the circumstances?
However many patients choose for ‘any treatment to prologue life’ in order to make their friends and family members happy. Meanwhile the family members are trying to find out what they can do to make the patient happy…
To be sure both patient and loved ones get the most out of the little time left with each other, we need someone experienced and knowledgeable to talk to: hospice:
- to talk about daily needs
- to help people negotiate the overwhelming anxiety: anxiety about death, anxiety about suffering, anxiety about loved ones, anxiety about finances.
Read the complete article found by Chibi at http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/02/100802fa_fact_gawande?currentPage=all.
This post is dedicated to Kath-e – the whole truth about metastatic liver cancer – who kept on finding the energy to emphasize the importance of hospice, in a time when Kath-e’s body was asking her to take an infinite rest.
Bottom line:
- if the patient wants to have treatment, go for it under the conditions the patient sets
- if the patient accepts there is no cure, go for what is most important to the patient.
However, to really find out what the patient wants, we need experienced people to sit down with them and ask the right questions.